What gives me my spark?

This is a talk I was asked to give in our Stake Conference last night.  I was able to receive a blessing from my wonderful husband earlier in the evening and I actually wasn't even nervous, which I am grateful for.  Small blessings.

Stake Conference

 Adult Session - August 25, 2012

When President Kennedy was buried, his wife requested that an eternal flame be placed on his tomb similar to the flame of remembrance at the tomb of the unknown soldier in Paris France.  The concept of an eternal flame is the same as that of the Olympic flame, which we have seen recently, usually a propane fueled flame that is meant to stay burning through difficult weather conditions.  The eternal flame does actually go out from time to time, however it is constructed with an igniter that sparks when the flame dies out so that it starts again.  It makes the flame appear eternal when it actually dies out momentarily, but it is sparked back immediately.

In our lives we often have times of difficulty where our spiritual flame may momentarily extinguish, but we have sparks that can reignite us.  It states in Alma 37:35: “Oh, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in they youth; yea, learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God. “

It was quite humbling to have President Butler ask me to speak this evening and then not give me a topic to speak on.  It is easier to research an assigned topic.  Instead he told me that he felt I have a story to tell, and he doesn’t know what it is, but I need to find what the Lord wants me to share.  That has lead to a lot of prayer and contemplation.  What is it that makes me who I am today?  What in my life has made me strong, made me have a desire to serve, made me the wife and mother that I am now.  All of these questions point to my parents.   They taught me so many things in my youth that have been the spark when I needed it in my life.  When I have encountered hard times or when I strayed from what I knew to be true, I had that spark, that remembrance of things I had been taught, to reignite my fire.

I am going to indulge and tell you a little bit about my parents.  They were married just after the end of World War II.  My dad was in the military and that took their young family all around the country and all around the world for the first 25 or so years of their marriage.  I am the youngest of six children and was born right before my dad retired from the Air Force.  I was an unexpected addition to their family as my mom was 43 and my dad was 48 when I was born.  My mom had lived an active life up to this point, being involved with the church in the many areas that they lived and raising her children.  When I was a year old she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, which is a degenerative joint disease, and she went downhill very quickly.  By the time I was five years old she was having joints replaced.  Over the years she had almost every major joint in her body replaced, shoulders, elbow, fingers, hips, knees, and toes.   She was on some pretty heavy medications that caused her immune system to be compromised.   She would catch a cold and it would quickly turn into pneumonia.  She had chronic bronchitis which she could not get rid of.

Much of my early life was spent visiting my mom in the hospital, spending hours there with my dad as we kept her company, helping care for her needs when she was at home.  My dad was always by her side caring for her and loving her.  She couldn’t do too much for herself and many of my chores as a child were involved in caring for her.  I also had a lot of extra responsibilities in my youth to take care of our home and help prepare meals.   My mom passed away when I was 28 years old after struggling with her crippling disease for many years.  I was just a new mom, my daughter was not quite a year old.   My dad is now 90 years old and I am very grateful to have him still be an important part of my life.

I wanted to tell you quickly about my parents so you could understand the things that they taught me.  First of all they had strong testimonies of the gospel and our Savior.  Mom always wanted to be able to serve in any way possible, even though her body limited a lot of what she could do.  She was able to serve as a visiting teaching supervisor for many years and diligently made the phone calls she needed to each month. 

Watching her gladly serve in whatever manner she could sparked in me that same desire and I have enjoyed serving in every calling I have ever had. 

Her greatest desire was to serve a mission with my dad. 

When they spoke with the doctors about the possibility, she was told that she would be cleared to serve if they were called to a visitors’ center in a warm climate.  My parents were thrilled to be able to put in their papers and when the call came they were called to the Peter Whitmer Farm in upstate New York.  While it was a visitors’ center it certainly was not a warm climate.  During their one year mission she struggled with her health and had pneumonia several times, but she served diligently and happily.  I was able to spend a summer with them while they were on their mission, and I was amazed to see my mother.  She was truly in her element, being able to share her testimony and her sweet personality with the people of Fayette New York

Seeing the joy they experienced and the blessing our family received from their service has given me this same desire.  I look forward to the day when I will be able to serve a mission with my husband.

I have learned endurance.  When things are hard and seem to be never ending, if we rely on the Lord we can endure all things.  Watching my mom struggle with her health and her testimony never falter was such an example to me.  She never complained.  My father was always by her side, enduring with her, and supporting her during all of her struggles.  I know that as we rely on our Savior we too can endure all things. 

Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated: "The Atonement of Jesus Christ and the healing it offers do much more than provide the opportunity for repentance from sins. The Atonement also gives us the strength to endure 'pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind,' because our Savior also took upon Him 'the pains and the sicknesses of his people'. Brothers and sisters, if your faith and prayers and the power of the priesthood do not heal you from an affliction, the power of the Atonement will surely give you the strength to bear the burden."

I have especially learned love from my parents.  I have always felt loved in my life, even when the choices I was making were not what they would have chosen for me.  We have a family joke about who mom loved best and who dad loves best, and even though I know it is me, dad also lets the others feel the same way.  But I know the real truth.

Now that I am a parent I try each day, and each moment of each day, to be an example of righteousness to my daughter.  To teach her the things which I know to be true.  The things which my parents taught me and have been the “sparks” in my life as I needed them.

President Monson said “My own father, a printer, gave me a copy of a piece he had printed. It was titled “A Letter from a Father” and concluded with this thought: “Perhaps my greatest hope as a parent is to have such a relationship with you that when the day comes and you look down into the face of your first child, you will feel deep within you the desire to be to your child the kind of parent your dad has tried to be to you. What greater compliment could any man ask? Love, Dad.”

In 1 Samuel 1:27 it reads, “For this child I prayed, and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him.”

 I truly did pray for my daughter to be a part of my life.  Struggles with infertility made me doubt if I would be able to have my family.   I love that I am a mother and can teach my daughter correct principles so that she can have that spark as she grows up. 

I sat down with my daughter this past week and asked her what I have taught her that she feels will be a lasting influence on her life.  She said that I have taught her responsibility.  Not only to take responsibility for her chores and homework, but to take responsibility for her own actions.  She mentioned caring for others, caring for our home and about having a positive attitude.  She also added that she has been taught not to drink out of my straw, but that is a lesson she is not learning very well.

In 3^rd John verse 4 it says: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”  I pray that we can all live our lives so that we can give our Father in Heaven that same JOY as we walk in truth.

I know that the things I was taught in my home are important.  I know that the Lord loves me and loves my family.  I have seen his hand guiding me throughout my life as I let that spark strengthen my testimony and remind me of what I know to be true. 

Mom and Dad on their wedding day, 1946

1970 - When I was a baby

1973 - When I was 3 years old

1988 - The day of their mission farewell 

1997

1998 - Holding my daughter Bri

April 2012 - Dad's 90th birthday party

(See, he likes me best.)